well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
false alarm. still invincible.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
These tits shall not be calmed
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