i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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