..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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