I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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