I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
