I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
