this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Vodka?
Forever.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
