im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
