Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I AM VODKA MAN
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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