I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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