I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
its liver damage thursday
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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