didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My bed smells like the plague
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