If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
