dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Randomize
