i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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