It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
