Where are you?
In a non slutty way
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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