The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
