problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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