Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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