Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
