Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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