i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
