Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
