"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
as a side note pls kill me
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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