Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
