Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
