hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
