i barfeds in our rink
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Randomize
