question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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