If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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