In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
one might say we're banned from that church
home. puking in laundry basket.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
