If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
