you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
