okay pat passed out under dana's car
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
