wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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