you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I think a kid would responsible me up
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
