woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
