Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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