I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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