People in love make me want to vomit
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
