super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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