im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You are a genius and a whore.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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