Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
