I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
