I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
