Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
