It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
