Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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