It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
