I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Randomize
