At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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