I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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